There was once a time when I thought that to bear and raise children would mean the end of who I was as an individual woman. In essence, I feared that with children I would cease to exist. That thinking changed when I experienced love and support from my husband. It changed when I felt that he chose our relationship as his primary focus.
I once thought that upon having children I would desire life to take me to work outside the home. I imagined that I would feel trapped and isolated as a stay at home mom and that any children I had would benefit most from seeing me navigate a full time career while they were happily in the care of others.
Life often chooses you.
With the birth of our first son, I lost the position I had expected to return to; a position that included on-site care and flexible hours. Instead, the position offered to me demanded more of my time for less pay and no child care. Ha! The proverbial push to the periphery that I had once feared. Only this time, the decision was clear. My husband and I scrambled; we rearranged the working structure of our young family and I became the primary caretaker of our children that I am today. While it is the hardest “job” I’ve ever held and the corporate gigs I once had now seem like a vacation, I wouldn’t change it for the world.
My foray into motherhood has been the most humbling experience of a lifetime.
The first year with Little Man taught me the importance of listening to my inner voice and standing up for my beliefs as a mother. It was Little Man’s first year that stoked the fire in my soul that became this path. While I valued holistic health, the premises of homeopathy and the issues around vaccine choice, they were not the personal tenants they are for me today. I had heard about homeoprophylaxis but it did not enter my consciousness the way it did after Little Man’s first few months.
We all have our journeys, we all have the moments that cleave us from the lives we once led to make us the people we are today. When the eyes are opened and hearts changed, there is often no going back. And so it is with our choice to be an HP family.
Late in 2014, we welcomed the addition of our second son and now, only now, I feel I am truly surfacing from the immersion that his first year demanded. If Little Man’s first year taught me anything about heeding my inner voice as a mother, Big Boy’s taught me the importance of acceptance and advocacy. Big Boy’s first year challenged the parameters of my heart to grow to proportions heretofore unexplored. This tender, highly sensitive child needed my everything; he needed me physically and emotionally in order to sort, make sense of and somewhat trust this big loud world. Together we weathered early breastfeeding issues, tongue tie, reflux, bottle refusal, night terrors, sleep issues, food sensitivities and several wee-hour trips to the ER for breathing issues due to susceptibility to croup. Have I ever told you how much I love those 2 am “discussions” with ER staff about my son’s vaccine status? Homeopropha-what?
We are the experts on our children. We are their advocates.
It is for Big Boy that my life-learning expanded to include various food as medicine approaches. Being that he seemed to express various sensitivities form the start, I used aspects of the GAPS diet to introduce him to solids. On occasion, when I rally and attempt to organize myself and the budget, I use more GAPS approaches for our entire family. It is for both boys that my home herbal apothecary is now bursting from a kitchen cabinet and essential oils are lining up on the counter. I love finding ways to nourish and support my sons’ immune systems. I love watching them grow and I love imagining the young men they will become.
We have an awe-inspiring and humbling responsibility as stewards for the children who have been entrusted into our care.
Big Boy needed everything I could give in that first year and then some. I am heartened to see him explore his world more, to see him make strides. Always a cautious sensitive guy, the polar opposite of his brother, he quickly runs to mommy’s side. Little by little, we learn and grow together, each new day is an exercise in knowing the truth of who he is and accepting him, both of my boys, for who they are and helping them to live what is written in their hearts. A wise friend once said that the measure of a year is in the number of occasions for laughter and for tears. In the case of Big Boy’s first year that year can be measured by tears of joy, tears of exhaustion, tears of exasperation, tears of exhilaration as we enter new phases of life development and development in our relationship with Big Boy.
The learning never ceases, each stage brings with it new challenges and new victories. This is a relationship of a lifetime and I hope to provide them with natural and holistic tools to live a healthy life full of vitality physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. We all do the best we can with what we have and to that end I am dedicated to challenge myself to learn and grow, to challenge my previous comfort zones.
Here’s to being our children’s advocates along this path!
Cheers to yours and your family’s health and well being.